Uzumaki & Uchiha: NPI's
by The God of Ink
Summary: Trained in the ninja arts, these two know how to do the job right. When the Hokage is murdered, the Ninja Private Eyes are on the case!
1. The Name of the Game is Assassination

Prologue:

The Name of the Game is Assassination

** The party was like any party you would expect for a high-society charity ball; extravagant, expensive, and glamorous. The complete opposite of the "true" reason for the party. But good was still being done, and that was good enough for Hokage Sarutobi.**

** The Hokage usually avoided parties; they weren't exactly his favourite thing in the world. But tonight was about charity, and that was something he was always for. Leaf City was turning to garbage; more and more people were ending up on the streets, crime was rampant, drugs were everywhere. He swore that he would reverse all of this, and he was keeping up to his promise. And that's why he was still in office after all these years. **

** "Enjoying the party, aren't you, Dad?" The old man turned to see his son, Asuma, standing behind him.**

** He snorted. "Son, if there's one thing I've never liked, it's a bunch of people standing around doing nothing, and getting praise for it. Besides, the food here tastes like crap."**

** Asuma had to laugh. "I won't argue with you. I don't like the food either. But seriously," he handed his father a champagne flute, "I thought you would lighten up for the occasion. Have you been hearing what people are saying? 'Leaf City's turned over a new leaf.' Corny, I know, but couldn't be farther from the truth." **

** He motioned to a group of people at a table. "I was just talking to the Gokage, and they agree with everything. As a matter of fact, the Raikage couldn't stop singing your praise."**

** This time Sarutobi had to laugh. "Really? Getting a compliment out of that man is less likely to happen than growing wings and flying. Singing my praise, eh?" **

** Asuma nodded. "The way I see it, this whole thing is a tribute to you." He raised his flute. "Salut." The two men downed the champagne. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back. Kurenai's mad at me for some reason, and I want to stay on her good side."**

** The Hokage had to laugh at his son's troubles. "See that you do. It took you this long to get married; don't blow it while your ahead."**

** Asuma left, and Sarutobi thought it would be best for him to take a break. He walked to the back of the ballroom, and went through the kitchen to end up outside, at the back of the building. The old man took out his pipe, and proceeded to light it when he heard a crash from behind him. He spun on the balls of his feet, but when he looked, nothing was there.**

** He pulled out a kunai knife from under his jacket. He may be old, but he still knew how to fight. He stood his ground, and called out into the alley. "Come out where I can see you!" After five minutes, still no response came.**

** The old man sheathed his knife. "Hmph," he grunted. "Getting paranoid in your old age, aren't you?" he said to himself. But as he turned to head back inside, he was paralyzed. Standing before him was a man in cloak, adorned with the symbol of a red cloud. But his eyes were what Sarutobi was scared of. For his eyes had a strange look to them. A strange pattern, that the Hokage sworn he had seen before….**

** An enormous fear weighed down on his chest. Mangekyo Sharingan. That what it was. No wonder he couldn't move. **

** He forced himself to croak out the words. "Is that really you?" The figure did not respond, but merely pointed up above Sarutobi's head. **

** What happened next happened in an instant. Sarutobi saw the blade coming in his peripherals, and, knowing he could not move away, put on a stoic expression and faced the inevitable.**

** The sword went messily through his neck, with great tearing and a wet SHKK sound. His head was launched into the far corners of the alley. Gore splattered the bricks walls of the surrounding buildings. And all in less than the time it took to blink. **

** The first man, the Sharingan user, stepped up to inspect the body of the once great Hokage. "Kisame," he said flatly, "was it really so necessary to make such a dramatic kill?" **

** The swordsman stepped out of the shadows, his shark-like features highlighted in the moonlight. "The point of assassination is to _make_ a point, my dear Itachi." He gestured to the bloody mess all around them. "Point will be taken, I assure you." **

** Itachi sighed. True, he and Kisame were among the better partnerships in the organization, but he always forgot how thick his partner was. "Fair enough," he said. "Let's get out of here before anyone starts to wonder where the old man went."**

** Kisame holstered his blade, and the two men walked off into the night, leaving their handiwork behind them. As they looked upon the city's lights, they reminded themselves how, very soon, this city would be under their feet….**


	2. Let Investigation Commence

Chapter 1:

Let Investigation Commence

"How do I look?" Naruto stood in the middle of the office, his new trench coat ruffling around his ankles.

Sasuke looked up from his newspaper. "In all honesty? You look like a gay carrot." He set down his paper and stood up. "I still don't know why you insist on wearing that thing. An orange trench coat?"

Naruto shrugged. "It was the cheapest thing they had. Besides, I like orange."

Their banter couldn't disguise why they were talking; they were both bored out of their skulls. It had been over two weeks without a case; not even a simple home robbery. The two friends were starting to think that it was time to hang up their hats. The Hokage's promise of cleaning up all the crime in the city seemed to be in full swing. Pretty soon there wouldn't be any use for private detectives, much less ninja private detectives…

Naruto sat down at his desk, and started sharpening his shuriken; a nervous tic of his. Back when he and Sasuke were kids in the Academy, they made a pact to be the best ninja's they could. They swore to use all their skills to help people, but when there weren't people to help, what were they?

"Thinking again?" Sasuke asked.

"No."

"Bull. Your doing that thing you always do when your thinking. And don't deny it; I've known you long enough to pick up when you're lying." Sasuke leaned against his desk, and began to polish his sword. "So, what _are_ you thinking?"

Naruto sighed. "Do you think it's time to let go?"

"I wasn't aware that someone died."

"Not that kind of let go, smartass. I mean, do you think it's time to retire?"

"Why? Do you?"

"I don't know." Naruto looked out the window. "Business hasn't been good. It's just, this isn't what I had in mind when we started."

"So you want to quit? That's a real half-assed plan you got there, pal. Trust me, business isn't going to be like this forever."

And, as if the Universe was proving Sasuke right, in walked their secretary.

"If you two aren't busy, I have a job for you."

Sasuke sent a smirk flying at his friend. "Whattaya' got, Ino?"

Ino brushed a locked of hair away from her face. "Commissioner Hatake just called. He wants both of you at the banquet hall on Shishu street right now." 

"The Commissioner wishes to be graced with our presence?" Naruto said, his sarcasm laid thick. "What happened, not enough champagne for the rich people?"

Ino scrunched up her face. "All I know was that it involved the words 'Murder, Hokage, and decapitation.' Ick."

Naruto shot at glance at Sasuke. This was it. The big, career defining case every detective hopes for. Sasuke seemed to get the message. In one swift motion, he got his coat, hat, and blades, and promptly strode to the window. "Shall we take the rooftops?"

Naruto smiled. "Probably. It's the fastest way. And considering how slow you are, that's a good thing."

"Oh, it's on, fox-boy."

And with that, they jumped out the window, scaled the building wall, and in no time were leaping across the rooftops.


	3. Clues and Crime Scenes

**Chapter 3:**

**Clues and Crime Scenes**

** Often Kakashi Hatake wondered why he joined the police. He was generally lazy, was often late, and didn't like confrontation. In fact, most new recruits were surprised when they found out he was the Commissioner. But looks were deceiving. Since he was voted Commissioner, crime in Leaf City had taken a sharp downturn. Beneath his sleepy exterior laid a cunning, quick witted hunter. When he put his mind to it, nothing could faze him.**

** Which is why Shikamaru and Choji were worried when he put in the call for the P.I's. **

** As his best officers, Hatake told them everything. No decision was made unless he consulted with them. So why put in the call so quickly?**

** The three men were standing in the alley where the body was found. The force was called out after a kitchen worker found it when taking out the garbage. The whole area had been cordoned off for five whole blocks; _so much red tape, _Kakashi thought. _Oh joy, look. Reporters._**

**News casters, news writers, free lancers, political conspiracy theorists; the whole crime scene was _infected_. That was the word the cops used. _Infected._**

** FFFSSSH! A rush of wind behind Kakashi, Choji, and Shikamaru. The P.I's had arrived. **

** "S'up, bro's?" Naruto grinned. "Having a good night, I hope?"**

** Shikamaru groaned, audibly. "You say 'good', I say 'a drag'." He motioned for them to follow him. "'Bout around 11:36, we got a 9-11 from some freaked out dishwasher. Said the whole alley was covered with blood. We get here, and we find old man Sarutobi lying here without a head."**

** "Lovely" Sasuke deadpanned. **

** "What's even weirder," Choji said, "is the way it looks. Not your average sword cut; looks like a bear ripped it off." **

** They stopped. At their feet was a bloody blanket, covering the body. Naruto peeled back the blanket. They all coiled back, holding their noses. It doesn't matter how many murders you see, there's always that one that you can't stand the sight of. Or smell of.**

** "Well, the bear idea obviously doesn't seem that far off." Naruto said. "Maybe it's.."**

"**Summoning jutsu? Checked the whole area; not one symbol on the whole place. I got my dogs to run the place over. No jutsu of any kind." Kakashi walked up from behind them. "This was a weapon…or some junkie high enough to rip off some one's head."**

** Sasuke looked over the scene. "Where's the head?"**

** Choji jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "We got a coroner examining it." Both he and Shikamaru had grins on their faces; Sasuke didn't know why. He looked where Choji pointed, and sure enough, there was a coroner bent over looking at something covered by a blanket. A coroner with… pink hair.**

** _"Damn."_**

** It was her. Why was she here? Why couldn't she do her thing back at her lab? Sasuke looked at Naruto for help, but his friend was grinning like a loon. That ass.**

** "Why don't we take a look at the head, pal?" He began walking away, whistling. Sasuke followed him.**

** "_She's probably not there anymore" _he thought. _'She was always the best, so she's probably finished and gone back to her office."_**

**No such luck. _"Damn!"_**

** The coroner stood up, and looked right at them. "Hey, guys." She gave Naruto a hug, and then just stopped. **

** "Sasuke."**

** "Evening, Sakura."**

** It took all he had for Naruto not to burst out laughing. Two months since she left him, and he still clenched up when she looked at him. Like a statue.**

** Sasuke was trying not clench. He got away with a simple twitch in the eye. **

** Sakura ignored him, focusing on Naruto instead. "How's business been going for you guys?"**

** Naruto shrugged. "You're looking at it. First case for the last month. Think we can see the head?"**

** Sakura shook her head. "Can't. Head office has this thing about flashing off our finds. What I can show you," she pulled a small vial from his purse, "is this." Sasuke took the vial. In it were three small silver pieces. The caught the light of the cop's searchlights, throwing glints into his eyes.**

** Shikamaru took they vial from Sasuke. "Commissioner will want to see these. Any idea what they are?"**

** Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to act interested if I tell you?"**

** "Anything that'll get me home faster. Temari's due any day, so being out here's rattling my nerves."**

** Choji snorted. "Getting up from your chair rattles your nerves, dude." **

** Sakura took the vials back. "For your information, I get to keep these. And as for what I think, if this was a sword cut, then these pieces are part of the blade."**

** "Pieces?" Naruto asked. Sakura nodded. **

** "A sword made of scales…. Definitely a custom job, then." Naruto looked at Sasuke. "Any one you know who'd have the know-how to make something like that?" Sasuke shook his head. **

** Naruto pulled out his cell phone. "I'll get Ino to track all the sword dealers in town." He turned to Shikamaru and Choji. "Meanwhile, I want every name of every one who was in that building. Anyone who even seems slightly out of place, I want to know where they live, what they look like, everything."**

** The two cops nodded. The three men ran off to find there information, leaving Sasuke alone with Sakura. He was about to follow them, but Sakura grabbed his arm.**

** "Sasuke…" she started.**

** "_Oh, great,_ he thought. Aloud, he said, "What is it?"**

** Sakura looked uncomfortable. "Look, I know you might not like me all that much now…"**

** _ "No crap, Ms. Sherlock."_**

**"…but I do care about what happens to you, so I was debating whether or not to tell you this, but…"**

** "But what?" Sasuke was curious now.**

** Sakura bit her lip. "Well, when I was looking at the head, I noticed the eyes were glazed over, and the pupils were dilated in…that way when…**

** "…When I pull a Sharingan on someone." It took a couple seconds for the impact of that statement to sink in. "You mean…" Sakura nodded.**

** What it meant was that they weren't looking for one person; it was two people. One to immobilize, the other to deliver the finishing blow. And if it was Sharingan…**

** _Damn it, Itachi. This time, you've gone off the deep end."_**


	4. Call Forth the Witness

**Chapter 4:**

**Call Forth the Witness**

**There was one part of his job Naruto absolutely hated; interviewing the witnesses. There was nothing worse than trying to get a sensible piece of information from someone who either wouldn't stop crying, or was threatening legal action against anyone who dared walk up to them. **

**It came as a pleasant surprise that there weren't much of either. The odd rich snob or close friend, they were annoying. But everyone who knew old man Sarutobi closely seemed to share the old man's stoicism, offering anything they could. **

**Naruto was finishing up an interview now, with the old man's son. "What happened after you talked with him" he asked the man.**

**Asuma's skin was a pale ash colour. "I remember," he said, "that he was going out for a smoke, I think. Kurenai told me to go get him after a while, but I thought h..he wanted some peace and quiet.**

"**Thank you for your co-operation" Naruto said, closing his notebook. "And I'm sorry." Asuma did a little nod, then walked away to where his wife was, silently crying into her hand.**

**Naruto looked around the room, but he couldn't find a trace of Sasuke. He let his eyes drag across the walls, until...there. Sasuke was chatting with some person in a corner of the ballroom, his back to Naruto. "_Shirker" _Naruto thought. _"Let me talk to all the weepy witnesses." _The ninja began to make is way to his partner, straining to see who he was talking to.**

"**...and he's got a chin like mine" Sasuke was saying. He turned to see Naruto approaching him. "Got anything useful?"**

** "By useful, do you mean 'Absolutely no help whatsoever?'"**

** "Liven up. You starting to sound just like Shikamaru."**

** "Is there anything else?" a new voice said. It came from the man behind Sasuke. Naruto peeked over his friend's shoulder... "_Ah, great."_**

**It was Sai. The coldest sonnuvabitch working the Leaf City police force. They said if you looked at him long enough, you'd go blind from the sheer blankness coming off of him. But, he was also the best sketch artist they've had in years **

** "Is their anything else, Uchiha?" he repeated. He tapped his sketchbook. **

** Sasuke scratched his chin. "Yeah. One of his ears is split on the bottom. Kunai wound from long ago."**

** Sai rubbed something out with his pencil, and quickly scribbled onto his paper. He ripped the sheet off the pad when he was done, and handed it to Sasuke. "Next time, please get to the point. I have work I need to get done." And he wandered off."**

** "Jackass" Sasuke snorted, when Sai was out of range. **

** Naruto chuckled. "Don't be to hard on him. D'ya hear what he used to do?"**

** "I know. Foundation work is supposed to mess with your head. Doesn't mean he has to be a rude jerk."**

** "Then why did you start talking to him?" **

** "I needed a sketch done."**

** "That sketch?"**

** "Yes, this sketch."**

** "Can I see it?"**

** "No, you can not."**

** "Really? So it's one of those 'mysterious Sasuke' things."**

** "Yes."**

** Naruto took a long, hard look at his partner, who had stuffed the sketch into his coat pocket. "Alright then. Let's go get the big fish."**

** The two detectives made their way through the crowd, to a big table in the center of the ballroom. Sitting there were five people, one woman, three men. The first man was elderly, and a veritable hobbit; short and stout, grey ponytail, with a big nose hanging a luxurious mustache. He wore a green three-piece suit, with an inverness that hung down straight to his feet.**

** The second man was the exact opposite. He had dark skin, and silver hair that hung from his head. A silver goatee sat on an angry face; his mouth and eyes were set in a permanent scowl. As large as a house he was, with rippling muscle definition and fists the size of frozen turkeys. The muscles on his arms alone threatened to burst out of his tailored suit.**

** The woman seemed the most approachable. Flowing auburn hair hid brilliant blue eyes, down the rear of a back-less blue cocktail dress. Her limbs were slight, but she exuded a feeling that it would be unwise to turn your back on her. **

** The fourth and final person was the youngest, a man around the age of Naruto or Sasuke. Ember coloured hair pointed from his scalp, the latter of which stretched down into a flat, crease-less face. His eyes were ringed by black bags. Most striking was his dress; over a sand coloured suit he wore a sash, which in turn held aloft on his back a giant gourd with black symbols painted on it.**

** These were no mere aristocrats; these were the Gokage, leaders of the capital cities of the countries that ringed The Land of Fire. Sand, Stone, Mist, and Cloud. And now two low-ranking detectives had to questioned them. The red-haired man turn his head, and broke into a small grin.**

** "Detectives."**

** Naruto returned the smile. "Good to see you, Gaara." He flipped open his notebook and pulled up a chair. "I assume you all know why we're here."**

** Raikage, the big man, grunted. **

** "Good." Naruto pulled up a chair for Sasuke. "Now, would you all prefer to do this alone?"**

** "There's no point" said the Mizukage, the woman. "We've mostly spent the night in each others company." **

** Sasuke nodded. He took out his notebook (bigger and newer, much to Naruto's shame) and retrieved a pencil from his pants pocket. "Alright. Answer in whatever order you can. Where we're you exactly two hours ago, around 9:30?"**

** "I was discussing something private with one of my governors" said Gaara.**

** "Eating. I was just about to send my meal back for being too raw" said the Tsuchikage. **

** "I was attempting to dissuade the Raikage from fist fighting the bar tender" said the Mizukage. **

** "The little prick should have known better than to refuse me" the Raikage growled. "Limit my ass; I could drink everyone here under the table."**

** "I have no doubt you could."**

** "Up yours, Sand whelp!" **

** Naruto held his head in his hands. "Anything else? Some important detail that, God willing, _actually involves_ what's going on?"**

** "Do I hear a hint of pretension in the fox detective's voice" the Tsuchikage snorted. Naruto was about to unleash a cuss tirade against the old man when Sasuke stepped in.**

** "Yes, you do Tsuchikage. Now, is there anything else?" **

** Gaara scratched his palm. "I do remember something." The two detectives flipped their notepads to a clean page. (No need, seeing as they hadn't written anything in the first place, but best look professional).**

** "I was speaking with Kankuro about some trade matter, and I looked over his shoulder for a brief second" Gaara said. "And in the crowd, I saw this one man..."**

** Naruto was not so in tuned to Gaara to notice that Sasuke's shoulders tensed. "Continue" he said.**

** "He...I can't exactly describe it. But as I watched him walk across the room, he , uh, _shimmered_." Gaara followed 'shimmered' with a hand motion, waving his fingers in a slight wave to accentuate how the mystery man _shimmered._**

**"Shimmered?" Naruto asked.**

** "And they saw _I _drank too much" Raikage scoffed under his breath.**

** "Yes" Gaara continued. "His form seemed rough around the edges, blurry. I couldn't make out his face, so I'm not sure how helpful this might be-"**

** "You're sure he shimmered?" Sasuke asked, rather quickly Naruto noted. "Pardon what I'm about to say, but you sure it wasn't a illusion from..._Shukaku_?"**

** His bluntness caused Gaara to raise an eyebrow. The Two Tails wasn't something his friends were not comfortable talking about, much like the Nine Tails and Naruto. Clearly, the _shimmer_ was important.**

** "No" Gaara said clearly. "I know those illusions. This wasn't it."**

** "Thank you, everybody" Sasuke said. "My condolences for what's happened tonight; I know the old man was your friend." And he got up and briskly walk away, seemingly with a purpose.**

** Naruto was left sitting dumbfounded with the Kage. "...What he said" he said, and ran to catch up with his friend. When he had caught up with Sasuke, He grabbed the raven-haired man by the shoulder and spun him, unleashing the tirade he swallowed for the Tsuchikage's sake .**

** "What the hell was that?! You leave me sitting there like an ass with all those fancy politicians, you act like you had a gun shoved up your anus once Gaara started talking, and excuse me, but didn't we all agree not to bring up the-Are you listening to me; don't fumble for papers when I'm chewing you out!"**

** Sasuke took the aforementioned paper he was fumbling for, and stuck in Naruto's face. Naruto took it, and shut up immediately. It was Sai's sketching; a profile picture of Itachi Uchiha. Sasuke's older brother, with a rap sheet that could go around the moon; murder, drug-smuggling, weapon-running, assassination...if there was a law ninjas could break, Itachi smashed it into shards.**

** "Sakura said old man Sarutobi's eyes had experienced a Sharingan, meaning unless you think I'm a murderer, Itachi's back in town."**

** "And he ripped off the old man's head?"**

** Sasuke shook his head. "Gotta be working with someone. That's not his style. Point is, he's a prime suspect."**

** "...Meaning this is probably an assassination case. Itachi's a sociopath, but he doesn't just kill people. Too distasteful for such a 'sophisticated' guy."**

** "I'm worried a little bit more about the guy he's working with. If he's willing to do what he did to Sarutobi, I don't think he's all that stable. And Itachi-"**

** "-can only control someone with enough self-preservation and intelligence to be controlled" Naruto said, finishing that sober thought. Itachi, a master of Ocular Jutsu, and a crazy Über-thug. The two digested this idea, and immediately began running to find Kakashi. **


End file.
